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Do women love big…

There’s nothing better for the average man than learning that he has to buy the “Magnum” condoms for the best fit.  Like it or not, something that is completely out of your control no matter how in shape or fit you are, no matter how much you work out, no matter how attractive you are, is the size of your man-hardware.  Yet this thing that you can’t control is one of those things that we, as a society, seem to put a LOT of importance on.  A man with a small dick could be the most vicious, brutal fighter in the world.  He could win MMA championships or be a soldier who kills tens or hundreds of enemy soldiers in battle… yet we will judge him and his manliness, ultimately, on the fact that he is small below the waist.  That probably isn’t fair, but it IS a fact.

So do you need a monster johnson in order to be a hit with the ladies?  The good news is that many men do know what it’s like to have a plus-size trouser snake because they were born that way.  We wouldn’t need to manufacture “Magnum” condoms if that wasn’t the case.  (The name is especially clever.  The original .357 Magnum cartridge for guns was developed by a man who wanted a longer, more powerful 38 Special cartridge.  So he designed a bullet that was the same size but had more powder and a longer cartridge behind it.  He named it the .357 Magnum because that was closer to the real diameter of the bullet, and a “Magnum” of champagne is an extra large bottle of champagne.  So we now think of “Magnum” as synonymous for all things extra big and extra powerful, when really, it originally comes from a bottle of champagne.)

There is a cottage industry that caters both to men of above-average size and to the men who want to pretend to be like them.  You can buy books with huge titles written on them that say things like, “Living With Your Huge Penis.”  The idea is that you take this book someplace public and get seen reading it so that those looking at you will realize what you want them to realize: You’re packing the Magnum version down below.

There are even Internet dating sites devoted to men with monster junk.  To get on the site, you have to measure your hardware and make sure that it is at least seven inches long.  Strangely, this measure doesn’t cover “girth,” which is the thickness of your member. As most women will tell you, it isn’t how “deep” you can go (although that is certainly a factor) as much as how well you fill up the space available.

And have a large member isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.  We’ve been taught that women worship at the altar of men with huge penises.  This is why porn star Ron Jeremy, who is nothing good to look at, is so successful even years after he started in the industry (where the “shelf life” of the average performer is notoriously short).  Ron has an enormous penis and that is why he has enjoyed the long-term popularity he has.  In fact, he himself will tell you that the fatter he got, the more popular he became and the better his career was, probably because men like porn that teaches them that even ugly guys can have sex with beautiful women (and those ugly guys can be hung like horses).

But in an interview about Ron for a documentary on his life, one of the pornstars (of the very many) with whom he has had sex explained that sex with Ron’s enormous member didn’t hurt like it does with some other well-hung studs because his erect member is somehow “spongy” or more flexible.  In other words, there’s some give to it, so while he’s enormous, he isn’t stabbing his female partners with an iron rod of thick manliness.

This is a very big problem, actually, for some very large men.  Remember that scene in “Full Metal Jacket” where the Vietnamese prostitute doesn’t want to have sex with the soldier of color, because she’s heard that such men are enormous below the belt?  The soldier shows her his package and she agrees that, while it’s large, it isn’t unreasonable, so they go off to get some action.  But for some reason, the fear of pain from sex with a man who is very well hung is actually a very real possibility.  There are couples, in fact, whose male half is blessed with a package so large, that it actually interferes with their sex life.  If the lady half of the couple is small and especially tight (most men would think that sounds great), then sex with her well-hung partner can actually be very painful or, even worse, maybe they can’t get it together at all.  And there are some women who, regardless of the size of their partner, suffer from a kind of muscle spasm when they try to have sex that actually pushes their partner out.  This is worse with men who are very large and can be truly a problem for some couples.  Imagine trying to have sex with your wife or girlfriend, but being physically unable to do so.  That is more than a lot of couples can take, and it breaks them up.

Being well hung is certainly, to most men, the kind of problem that it sounds good to have.  But it can be more trouble than you might think, and some big men may be wishing they were closer to average because they might actually get more action.

 

Finally, you’re going to need to post a photo. No cock shots, because you’re classy. Instead, try what user BigDean did and subtley reference your gargantuwang by holding your arm out just so. And take off your shirt because why not?

And that’s it! You are now free to browse the site and message the ladeez until you find your perfect match (i.e., a woman with a cavernous vagina). God speed!

 
 

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