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Don’t Make These Mistakes in he Bedroom

Earlier this month we talked about some of the moves you should remember in the bedroom.  When it’s time to have sex, you want to be the best lover you can be.  This isn’t just so your lady will remember you fondly and keep coming back for more, although there is something to be said for blowing her mind so thoroughly that she’ll become a regular thing for you.  No, the reason you want to be the best you can be is becuase you, too, will get something great out of the experience. That’s what makes sex so great, after all. It’s what is called a primary need.  On the hierarchy of needs, sex ranks up there with things like food and sleep.  We crave it and, if we don’t have it, we will do anything to get close to having it (and even more to get all the way over that line).

When you’re doing the deed, as they say, here are some more tips for making sure everything stays on track.

First, if you’re going “down there,” remember that you’re not trying to set a record or anything. There are guys who seem to think that they’re practically trying to remove the wallpaper from the walls with their tongues.  You know those guys, who think they’re going to mime the alphabet  while they’re down there, and practically set up with a scuba snorkel and a bag of snacks? Well, your enthusiasm is appreciated, but dial it back.  There is such a thing as too much.  Going down on her is intended as foreplay, and that’s for a reason.  Some women will gladly have you going to work in he garden all day, but be honest: There is really no need to keep drawing this out.  Get her engine running with some work down there, but proceed to the main event once you’ve got the preliminaries out of the way.  Nobody goes to a concert to hear opening band after opening band. They want to hear the band that put them in the seats in the first place.

When you’re talking dirty to her, this can be a very major turn on. The problem is that a lot of guys, when it comes to talking dirty, go too filthy too fast.  You’ve got to know little things like whether she wants you to call her “bitch” before you trot that out there and ruin the mood.  She may not be down for that, and there may be other things you have to say that won’t exactly help the mood. The whole point of the dirty talk is to set the mood and get her turned on. They say that the most sensitive erogenous zone is the mind. Well, talking dirty to her is about working her fantasies as much as your own, and if your narrative doesn’t follow the script she thinks it should, your dirty talking can just kill the mood and leave you oth unsatisfied.

Take the time to find out what her fantasies are. Honestly, a nice, romantic dinner, even a casual snuggle by the fireplace or in front of the television, can turn into sex if you just end up turning her on while discussing things.  The more you learn what her fantasies are, the better you can exploit these to turn her on when you talk to her, and this can really enhance what you re doing with and to her body.

Let’s say you let you fingers do the walking, and a heavy petting session turns into your hand underneath her skirt or in her pants. Well, you may be getting her motor running just by what you are doing with your hand, but if you hold her close and whisper into her ear, you may enhance the mood all the more. And if you are describing to her what you are going to do to her, and you are exploiting her fantasies while you do it, suddenly she is hearing all the dirty things she loves most while she is also being stimulated. This will be enough to put most women over the edge. Fortunately, she is capable of having mltiple orgasms, and if you give her a few during the warm up session, you may find her even more responsive when finally you’re getting the job done.

Don’t forget that sex toys can really make a difference in the bedroom.  A lot of guys tend to feel threatened by these types of things. They figure that if their lady has a sex toy, it is taking the place of their own hardware, and suddenly they feel like they are competing with it. It s definitely the case that a vibrator can do things that your own  manhood can’t, because unless you’re a superhero, you can’t vibrate your junk. There are toys you can buy that are intended to work WITH your manhood (you wear them while you are doing her, usually to stimulate her simultaneously while you stroke away), but for the most part men think of a “marital aid” as competition.

Well, don’t make this mistake.  Your lady’s vibrator and all her other toys are members of the same team, and you are the captain of that team. Your job is to get her off and give her a mind-blowing sexual experience. Every one of those toys is like one of your wingmen. They are there to help you do that, and what’s more, since often she is the one who picked out those toys, you know they work for her and she will enjoy what they do. Remember too that you don’t want to spring surprises on her in the form of new toys she has never seen.  Unless you know her really well, you don’t want to do something that she might not like because that is a mood killer for sure.

When you’re going to town with your lady, all it takes is some focus and control to make every sexual experience the best it can be.


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